Growing Up

I'm 20 years old. Some might say that makes me a grown up. Some might say that I am still a kid. I say that I am somewhere in the middle. I don't like being called a "kid" any more, but then I realize that I have car insurance that has to be paid in a month, a gas tank that is going to need to be filled up again in a week, books to pay for, and no money left to do the things that I WANT to do. No money to buy the camera that I really want. No money to take a cruise with friends or a trip back to Europe.

But I remember WANTING to grow up. I remember WANTING to be an adult so that I could do what I wanted when I wanted to do it. Heck, I still WANT to grow up...just a little...as in 9 more months til I am 21 kind of growing up.

But it's times like these when I realize that I STILL can't do what I want to do. It's not my parents telling me that I can't do it, it's my checking account telling me that I can't do it. Not if I want to have an insured car with gas in it, or to finish school or study abroad.

I think it sucks now. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when my mom no longer pays for my cell phone bill, when I have to grocery shop every other week, when I have to pay rent and utilities and have a "big girl" job in the real world.

They say that "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional." If growing up is optional, is all of the stuff that comes with it optional, too?